Thursday, July 15, 2010

the lost boys.

Last year, around this time, a couple of things converged. Today, I was reminded of this and my previous thoughts about last summer as I looked at the front page of my local paper. . .

If you recall, in June of 2009, the inventor of the Moonwalk died just prior to the 40th anniversary of the Moonwalk. A month later, a little boy disappeared from his home in my town. They called him The Lost Boy. People began search parties, and tried to stay hopeful, but rumors of foul-play began as the days passed, and more than a week later, his body was found. His Mother and her boyfriend were charged with his murder.

Today, my local paper was able to give a more detailed account of this Lost Boy's last weeks. I couldn't read it all, and although I have no connection to these people (apart from knowing that everything is connected) my heart is completely broken. This little boy suffered so much. Please don't horde any love you have. Give more than you got so it can reach these dark places. I see these worlds--I deliver Chinese food on the weekends. I go to some scary places (hopefully I'm bringing more than just MSG).

I wrote this regarding this event last year:
"The best I can come up with, is that if we are to get anything or if there is any lesson from our local tragedy this summer, it is forgiveness."

My thought was that the only way to put a stop to front page stories like these was to forgive and heal the killers, ending the cycle of violence and negative, revenge type energy--knowing also that these monsters were reflecting our sins back at us--which prompts me now to think about a conversation I had with Michael from the blog Gosporn.

After my time in Winnipeg this past June for our 1st (annual) Sync Whole Conference, "The Cosmic Ti♋er", I decided to reach out and make contact with those in the synchro community that I could while on vacation in the Seattle area. I contacted Michael and we met and chatted over coffee. It was tremendous. (If you have the chance to meet a fellow synchronaut in person, I highly recommend it. It will change you and spread the cure.)

anyway, we talked about Heath Ledger, and the idea of a collective sin offering. Later Michael witnessed the flock of wild Turkeys that live in the town I was visiting which drove the point home for him and me, (as we sacrifice a turkey annually in the US.) Today, I wonder about last summer's lost boys. I've mused upon them off and on now for a year. Much of my work has come from this exploration of manhood, destruction, and the role of the father

Knowing that everything is connected, that we are a 'part' of the whole, doesn't make horrible events easier. It makes them worse. I feel responsible. Somehow these boys suffered for my sins. The sins of the father. Last year I felt like a glowing son, and I wanted to heal and forgive those killers. I wanted to remove Darth's mask and to let him know that I understood why he was the way he was.

Today I'm feeling like I need to be forgiven. Like I need the healing. Like I somehow let these boys fall.

--"Go then, there are other worlds than these."

post script:
Jackson had a troubled relationship with his father, Joe. Joseph acknowledged in 2003 that he regularly whipped Jackson as a child. Michael stated that he was physically and emotionally abused during incessant rehearsals, though he also credited his father's strict discipline with playing a large role in his success. Jackson first spoke openly about his childhood abuse in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, broadcast in February 1993. He admitted that he had often cried from loneliness and he would vomit on the sight of his father. Jackson's father was also said to have verbally abused Jackson, saying that he had a fat nose on numerous occasions. In fact, Michael Jackson's deep dissatisfaction with his appearance, his nightmares and chronic sleep problems, his tendency to remain hyper-compliant especially with his father, and to remain child-like throughout his adult life are in many ways consistent with the effects of this chronic maltreatment he endured as a young child.
~Wikipedia (Michael Jackson)


  1. "Just been thinkin though man
    about the situation for today's youth man the seeds man
    What's your opinion on that?
    Mmm that's strange I was thinkin the same thing
    Somethin I read in the holy Qu'ran how it says
    "Has thou seen him who belies religion?
    That is one who is rough, to the orphan."
    And no matter what we say our religion is
    whether it's Islam, Christianity
    Juddaism, Buddha-ism, Old School-ism or New School-ism
    If we're not schooling the youth WITH wisdom
    then the sins of the father will visit the children
    And that's not keepin it real...
    that's keepin it -- WRONG"

    -GangStarr Robin Hood Theory

  2. Lovely words Doug, Peace and <3

  3. I've been reading some Anthony de Mello and he mentions that Catholics believe we are all sinners, not because we intentionally sin, but because we, as a collective, allow sin to take place. This came to mind after reading your post.

    Also, those words from Jake at the end have always haunted me.


  4. Good to see your heart pour Doug. All is still love as hard as that is too see sometimes. For me it seems logical that the only way to help those that suffer is to do whatever possible to build a better more just world. The trick is that to do so one must not be weighed down by "this world" or the past. Our instinct for rage, to judge or to judge ourselves, though coming from the heart, does not heal and change the situations. Forgive and look forward, forgive and look forward....

    I have learn't to carry all this suffering in my heart everyday, yet not succumb to it, but only to use it as a reminder for the need to anchor a higher love in order to build a refuge from this pain and tragedy.

    Thanks for your words and your hypercube of a heart.

    Much love


  5. Thanks for the shout out, Doug. It was indeed a pleasure to connect, almost as if our hive mind was glowing for a bit. Your images reminded me of a few personal MJ synchs, like my phone number is 123... and my new car license is ABC... and of course, my personal diva is Julie Andrews: do re mi...

    I think, or at least I hope, that the lost boys do finally come home. But we have to create one for them, don't we?

  6. This was powerful indeed, I cried.